Monday, June 27, 2011

Days Twenty, Twenty-one, and Twenty-two

The blessings for day twenty were that I was able to go to lunch with my old work friends from hospice.  It was great to be able to see and hang out with them after everything that has happened.  We have a car.  I have air conditioning.  Yes, it was another hot day.  Josh was able to play boardgames at his local game store.  We have received more games than we know what to do with.  I found another pair of shorts in my belongings. 

Mostly I just tried to hang out.  I have been overwhelmed with everything I have to do and I hate being alone in the house we are staying at.  It was really nice to be able to hang out with more friends.  I am incredibly blessed with the people who are in my life. 

Today I realized just how blessed we are to have a vehicle.  Yes, driving Josh around and not ever leaving his side has it’s moments of too much togetherness, but at least we have a car.  It is our own car.  Many other people do not have cars at all or are driving around in a vehicle that “survived” the storm.  These cars are incredibly mangled, but are still operable.  Similar to our minivan, these cars could drive, but did not have windows or power steering after 250+ miles an hour winds. 

The blessings for day Twenty-one include that we have a house to live in that is very quiet and I am able to feel more at home.  We do not have to entertain our host or feel obligated to go and do anything.  I was able to make breakfast for Josh and I.  Many of our DVD’s survived and have been playable.  At this point, none of them were scratched enough to not play. 

Josh and I did a lot of relaxing.  It was nice to sit around and read and try to just be.  It is Saturday so we did Saturday things when you do not have to clean your house or mow the yard.  The lack of household responsibilities right now has been a huge weight off our shoulders. 

We went and ran some errands.  I got a crappy phone to get me by until I get a new phone or my recently baptized phone comes back to life.  We played some games at the local game store and ate frozen yogurt.  Other than that we did nothing. 

I watched Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.  The scene where Harry watches one of Professor Dumbledore’s memories made me want a Pensieve.  I want to remove some of my memories for a while so that my mind is not so cluttered.  I feel like I need a break again.  Josh asked if I wanted to go to Maine today and I think this would be a good diversion for me in July once we have a more permanent dwelling.  We still have lots of decisions that need to be made, but I am definitely going to look into this as a possibility.

Today has been three weeks since the storm.  I am really struggling to see the blessings that we had today.  There are not words to describe how I feel.  A really big blessing on day twenty- two was that I was able to see some friends that I have not seen since undergrad.  I went to church and asked about a counselor.

This morning in service the minister discussed the amount of debris that we have in Joplin.  It is estimated that the amount of train cars it will take to removal all the debris will stretch from Springfield, Missouri to Joplin Missouri.  This is about a seventy mile long distance.  There are lots of garbage trucks in Joplin; all of which are driving either empty trucks in or full trucks out.  Most of these trucks are on my street right now.  Because our house was so far south, the city has already started debris removal from the curbs near our house.  Thus it is very difficult to get to where our house used to be.  While at church, I decided to go forward and discuss with our ministerial staff how I am in need of professional counseling.  Out of everything that we need materially; I know that I am more important.

Josh wanted to go back to our house to see if he could find something that he wanted.  When we arrived, most of the stuff on our property had been moved.  Our entire drive-way was cleared as well as a lot of our side yard.  Someone removed the contents of the living room and bedroom.  It was strange to see where our house used to be.  Josh found a controller that actually turned on and I found a very interesting scene.  

This cross formerly hung in my living room.
This was a very good reminder of what I need to focus on.

Today we also met with some of my Abilene Christian University friends who came to volunteer.  We went to the only ice cream place left in Joplin and had something cold and sweet.  Even at the restaurant the tornado was evident.  It was very hot today and we all just wanted something that was sweet and cold.  We sat and talked before they needed to leave and go back to their homes.  It was really good to see these two girls that I spent so much time with four years ago.  I really miss them.

A couple of college friend’s came into Joplin to volunteer.  There is still so much to be done and an insufficient amount of people to do the job.  My friends did not work at my house but at other houses since there are so many.  I do not want anyone at my house.  You have seen the pictures and they do not encompass how unsafe it is at my house.  To further complicate the issue of debris, there is also a deadly fungus that is infecting and killing people who are working in the devastation zone.  There is mold and other unhealthy particles in the air that cause breathing problems.  I have turned down many of my friends and church family who have offered to go and help.  At this point there is nothing to get that I have not already searched for and I need to come to terms with the loss.  This is something I am working on. 

Josh and I hung out at the house and wrote some thank you notes.  We have lots to be thankful for and I wanted to make sure that people know that we appreciate what they have done for us.

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